4 Tools to Navigate Holiday Stress by a Licensed Therapist

The holiday season can be filled with joy, fun and excitement for many as we eagerly plan out holiday parties and creative cookie recipes. However, many of us also know that the holiday spirit does not always come easy and in fact, this season can also create or amplify feelings of stress, overwhelm and sadness. If this sounds familiar to you, please know that you are not alone. Whatever your stressors might be, I will provide recommendations for coping and navigating through this time.

1. Check Your Thought-Accuracy: This is an incredibly effective tool that can be learned and strengthened in therapy. Often, the thoughts that come up for us are not helpful or worse, they might not even be fully true! Do you actually HAVE to go to that holiday party, or do you just feel like you have to? It can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between wanting to go to an event vs feeling as though you have to go. As a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, I often ask clients to “catch” their thoughts and “put them on trial.” Meaning, find the evidence for and against the accuracy of that thought. If the thoughts are not accurate, try your best to create factual thoughts such as “I would like to go to the holiday party, but I am feeling very overwhelmed. I will look at my schedule and see if I can move anything around so that I can make it.”

2. Engage in Self-Compassion: Sometimes our thoughts are indeed accurate. Friends or family might even directly tell you that they are upset with you which justifies your guilt! If you have checked your thought-accuracy and there is evidence that your thought or worry is legitimate, practice giving yourself self-compassion with words such as “I forgive myself”, “I am doing the best I can”, “making mistakes is a part of life”, and “I am worthy of receiving love.” Researchers consistently find that practicing self-compassion leads to improved mental health. Although thoughts might be accurate, they might not be helpful. Try to focus on what is helpful at this time.

3. Use Clear Communication: The reality is that you will not be able to please everyone. Not everyone will be able to receive thoughtful, expensive gifts, not everyone will be able to have a house full of family for the holiday and not everyone will be able to thrive with multiple holiday cocktails. My recommendation is to do what is best for you. More people than you might think will understand and for those who don’t, that is ok too. Everyone has needs and true connection comes from honesty with others. 

4. Get Creative: It might be helpful to get creative with how you can “show up” for the loved ones in your life. For example, instead of an expensive gift, maybe you make a home-cooked meal for your loved ones. Instead of attending another holiday party, maybe you could send a thoughtful card. While not everyone will understand, remember that this season can be stressful for many people and it is important to take care of yourself.

Holiday stress can vary from mild, every day stress to severe stress leading to psychological consequences. Furthermore, stress can accumulate and worsen over time. It is important to recognize the signs of stress and emotional difficulties to know if you or someone you know should seek a mental health professional.

This blog is for educational purposes and not direct medical advice.